


For Her

by Vasser



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Character Study, F/M, Good End, Healing, Major Spoilers, Sadness, Self-Love, Spoilers, Spoilers for V's route, Toxic Relationship, V's Good End, V's POV, gets happier, kind of, learning to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25338874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vasser/pseuds/Vasser
Summary: The key events of V's route from V's point of view because goddamn his whole route was beautiful and made me cry.
Relationships: Rika/V | Kim Jihyun, V | Kim Jihyun/MC, V | Kim Jihyun/Main Character, V/Main Character (Mystic Messenger)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	For Her

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this half-finished in my notes for a while and finally decided to finish it and let it see the light of day.
> 
> I love V so much and the story arc and his development in his route just 💓💓 
> 
> Not all but most of the dialogue comes directly from the Visual Novel Modes in V's route.
> 
> In case the tags didn't specify it enough times, major spoilers for V's route ahead!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing for this beautiful character.
> 
> ~ Love, Vasser 💓

'I will sacrifice my all for her.'

"Heathen!"

'I will do everything she wants.'

"Liar!"

'I will be her sun.'

"Hypocrite!"

Her hateful words were a manifestation of her darkness, and he accepted them with grace. After all, he had promised Rika so many times that he would embrace her darkness as a part of her. He would shine like the sun for her until his brightness dried all her tears away.

For her, he could do it.

"Rika, I love you..."

Her green eyes were overflowing with her wonderful darkness.

"You may not say my name!"

Her darkness was a tempest, a wild storm that could not be controlled even by its wielder. She struck him and lunged for him, and he did not fight back. If she needed this release, then so did he. If she wanted him to hurt, then he wanted that too.

For her, he became blind.

\----

The chat logs hurt him, but he welcomed the pain. That necessary burn in his heart as it suffered from seeing the hurt of his friends and fellow RFA members. It had already been two months since he told them Rika was dead; since he lied to them in the most awful way for their own safety.

Rika's darkness was his alone to endure. There would be no innocent victims in this.

Yoosung grieved maliciously, blaming him for all that had gone wrong.

Suspicious V. Lying V. Traitor V. 

'Perhaps Yoosung is right about me.'

Maybe a darkness of his own was growing in his heart for him to be able to justify going this far. Jumin was the only one who stood by him and had faith in his words during this difficult time for the RFA.

A combination of his worsening eyesight and his preoccupation with his ex-lover meant that he was largely absent from the messenger. It didn't go unnoticed. Yoosung called him out, Zen panicked and tried to rationalise, Jaehee struggled to keep everything in balance.

'I'm the only one who needs to get hurt. Please don't dig any deeper.'

This was how it had to be, for their own safety and Rika's happiness.

For her, he lied to his dearest friends.

\----

Six months after Rika's 'death' a mysterious woman appeared in the messenger. Instantly, he knew who had sent her, though the 'why' was a mystery to him. What could Rika and Saeran possibly want with the RFA after all this time? Why were they targeting them even after everything he had done to focus their attention on him...?

The moment the girl said that Rika sent her he knew that everything would fall apart. Suspicions would rise and the RFA would ask questions. Everything he had hidden to protect them would become exposed. Everything he had done that had put Rika on this shadowed path would come into the light for all to see.

'Eventually, they deserve the truth...'

It frightened him.

Though the new girl at least bought him some time, he faltered about his own path. The things he thought he knew and believed until now were turned on their head, Rika had dragged an innocent victim into this. Nothing had been more important to him than giving his lover everything she wanted, but when was it enough?

He had to save the RFA, he had to save this clueless girl. He had to do anything that would take them out of Mint Eye's crosshairs, even if that meant he had to become their aim instead.

'Not them. Don't hurt them, Rika.'

For them, he would sacrifice himself.

\----

Of all people, why did Rika have to take a special interest in that girl? Why couldn't she just leave her alone?

'Please, God, keep her safe!'

She was just a bystander, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rika's malice and hatred for him should not fall on her innocent shoulders. No matter how risky it had been, he had vowed to save her. It didn't matter in the end, because he failed.

Her voice had been sweet, she had begged him to run as soon as she saw him in the garden. No matter what she said, he had needed to try reasoning with Rika. Rika was his life, he believed he was still her sun, so if he let her hurt him maybe no one else would be at risk anymore.

Pleas had spilled from his lips and his begging knew no boundaries as he desperately tried to convince Rika that he was enough; that she didn't need to corrupt or hurt the innocent brunette standing next to her.

The newest member of the RFA had looked at him with such sad eyes through his whole speech, as if she saw through his every pain and wished desperately to remove the burden on his heart. Had Rika not still held his every waking thought he may have fallen for her a little for her unwavering kindness.

'How can she care so much for someone she barely knows?'

Alas, he had been dragged away to the underground cells of Magenta. Saeran had come and taunted him endlessly about how the RFA would soon join them. About how the girl he was tricked into spying on the RFA would also be his before long.

There was nothing he could do now. His only chance to save her had been ruined. Or so he thought. Saeran, or Ray as he insisted he be called, had offered him a single lifeline. One he didn't want to take, but happily would if it secured her safety long enough for Luciel to come for her.

'What has she done to you, Saeran...?'

Luciel's twin stepped forward with a twisted grin, something hidden in his hands behind his back.

"We can show you that she's safe..."

Hope.

"... You can?"

His grin widened.

"Under one and only one condition. You admit it yourself...that you're wrong," he said before revealing the vial of elixir that he had been hiding behind his back. "Drink this as proof. Then I'll show you that she's safe."

Drugs and minor poisons and God knew what else flowed in that large vial. Saeran called it 'salvation', but he knew better than the young man about Rika's true actions.

'She is here because of me. I have to keep he safe.'

Saeran forced him to drink the whole thing once he started swallowing, and he felt an instant fuzziness in his head. There was a question, something about how he was feeling, and he could only find the strength to admit he was dizzy before he collapsed.

He was now unaware of his surroundings, but at least the innocent girl would be safe from Rika.

For her, he drugged himself into submission.

\----

What he and Rika was not and never had been love. It had been blind obsession, a need to be valued and seen rather than a true desire. It was a toxic and sickly parasite that had corrupted both him and Rika. 

He had become a man who hid things from his friends, who willingly accepted violence towards himself, and praised the woman who caused him so much torture. He was sick, thinking that deceit and lies and sacrifice were what made a fulfilled love. 

She emerged as the snake from the Garden of Eden, tempting the population to step into her dark little world and force others down with them until everyone was like her; to abandon whatever lives and loves they may have possessed before in order to follow her world order.

'I can't love her anymore, not when I have seen her drag innocent people into my mess.'

The poor woman who had joined the RFA, supported him and his friends through this entire attack... God, he would do anything for her. He would do anything to help her escape and live her life.

"V..."

Was that her voice? It was a little distorted and he felt incredibly weak. He was falling apart, but he still responded to her voice. Ever so slightly he shifted in his unconscious state. Maybe he said her name, maybe he didn't. She said his again, and it was beautiful.

'She sounds so sweet, but so lost... Did Rika hurt her?'

Worry clawed at his heart but he couldn't express it. As the seconds ticked by it became harder and harder to think. What was going on right now...? The voices around him were blended... He had heard Luciel before but now he wasn't sure if he was here anymore. All voices but hers sounded like a metal bar crashing against a symbol within his brain. 

Not many physical sensations were trickling in, but the feeling of her fragile warm arms holding him reached him. The tightening of that hold jostled him and made him try to fight harder for consciousness. But he was losing... He had caused so much trouble, she would be safe if he just let himself fade.

"Stay with me, V..."

'She sounds so sad...'

For her, he fought a little harder.

\----

Thanks to his determined fighting in his own head he had held on long enough for Luciel's acquaintance Vanderwood to detoxify him. There were still some side effects, but he was feeling mostly okay physically.

Mentally, however, the strain was worse than ever. Saeran had taken over the messenger, hacking and changing until only himself, Luciel and the girl could access it. Rika certainly made an impression.

She told that innocent girl so many things about the venom of the sun and the importance of freeing your inner devil. Obviously, she wanted the girl to agree with her and return to Mint Eye. It set him on edge.

'Enough is enough. I have to end this somehow...'

Long before he had even met the gentle brunette he had vowed to end this with himself as the only sacrifice. The only way forward visible to him was to hold true to that resolve. If he could be the only victim in this, even if it meant losing body parts or even his very life, then that would be enough.

No one else should have to suffer for the mess of darkness and chaos he caused by smothering Rika. For over a day he pleaded Rika to take him and to see him as enough but she insisted that she had to keep 'saving' people with her own brand of salvation.

He gave up completely with trying to win her over, he made it clear to her that what they thought they had was merely arrogance and obsession. All he wanted now was to give up on himself and live life in peaceful seclusion... As if the girl would ever allow that.

She kept insisting that he learn how to love himself and how to give healthy love to another as a result of that. Her voice and her words were so kind and she had cared for him so well that he wanted to believe her.

For her, he believed everything would be okay.

\----

She stabbed him. Rika stabbed him and everything was pain and darkness and sickness. It hurt so much! Through his pain he could only think of the caring girl who had carefully nurtured his soul over the past few days. Honestly, he believed he might love her...

His mother visited him in his unconscious dreams and spoke to him of art and love and life. The lectures stuck with him even though they were a fancy of his own mind.

After everything he couldn't bring himself to blame Rika for how out of hand things had gotten.

'It's time to accept this isn't right, Rika...'

If he could, if Rika would allow him, he wanted to help her see a more reasonable way to deal with the thoughts in her head. He just wanted this to end, he wanted to leave this whole thing behind and learn to love himself...

"No, no... I didn't do it... I didn't mean to..." 

Rika's words at the time had sounded broken. He believed her. She hadn't come with the intention to hurt him, she was just so lost and confused and she wanted things back to how they had been.

V couldn't allow that, however. Seeing his mother in his visions and dreams had reminded him of a part of himself long since buried. The obsession between Rika and himself was over, and before he offered his love to the wonderful girl who cared for him so deeply he needed to fix this and learn how to love himself.

'I know I can do this. I know it.'

For her, he could right his wrongs.

\----

The day of the cancelled RFA party was here and he was still in hospital with his angel by his side. For as long as he was here she had promised to care for him, and it was obvious to everyone that V had won her heart. 

They had just received the news of the drugged wine Rika had tried to hand out at the party, and he couldn't help but to feel terrible that she had been taken away at last. Even though it was necessary to protect everyone else he hated the fact that he knew she would hate it.

Only a day ago he had renounced his toxic relationship with his ex-fiancée, promised that he would move on and care about the things that needed care in his life... But caring didn't seem to be something he could switch off. 

"V...is there anything I can do for you?" 

'You've done more than enough for me...'

Despite all the things that had happened over the last eleven days she was standing strong and supporting him. How had such a good person ended up in his life? However, it shouldn't be her job to support his burdens and balance out his heart. That should be on only himself.

It wouldn't be easy to change from how things were, but he knew where to start; he would have to start recognising his own self-worth, starting with letting someone operate on his eyes and going travelling to learn all the deepest parts of himself. Only when he had achieved a feeling of self love could he make her happy...

He had been wrong in his ways before, but he could learn to be better. He could learn how to do things right. She looked sad and yet understanding as he started to explain all of his thoughts and feelings, his desire to want to paint. As smart as she was, his angel knew that he would be leaving for a while. It meant so much that she would not protest no matter how much she wanted him to stay.

"I pray that my love to share with my precious one...is not some craving for comfort or some temporary entertainment. I pray that loving someone precious will also be loving ourselves... May the day come when I can love someone so beautifully..."

'May the day come when I can love you so beautifully.'

For her, V could learn to love who he was.

\----

Two years later, he finally found himself back in Korea, less than 9 hours before the latest RFA part was supposed to start. Thank goodness he was still in the messenger, otherwise he never would have known the details.

After a quick visit home to unpack and shower, he waited. Waited patiently for the time of the party. The girl he was so desperate to see had worked so hard, and he was as excited to congratulate her for her efforts as he was to see her. Would she smile when he complimented her? Hopefully she would smile.

Everyone was just leaving the venue's entrance hall as he arrived. Perfect. He would have her all to himself while he said what he wanted to say.

'I can't wait to see her!'

Taking a calming breath to prepare himself, he stepped towards her. Once he was behind her he couldn't suppress his smile.

"I've been waiting for this moment."

For a moment she went rigid before her body language relaxed and her beautiful voice rang out.

"... Me too."

His heart warmed as he realised that she had waited ever-so-patiently for his eventual return. Smile still present on his face, he let himself bask in his own happiness as she turned to face him. Her soft eyes glittered with surprise and unshed tears as her face split into an unbelievably happy grin.

"V...!"

In that moment she loved him, and that was enough. In that moment he loved himself enough to return what she felt, and that was even better.

"It's 'Jihyun Kim' now," he explained with a smile, expressing through feeling and emoting rather than words that he had chosen to be nothing more and nothing less than the boy his mother had nurtured and loved and encouraged. Surprise and acceptance flickered onto her face, and Jihyun knew he could never get tired of the ways she expressed herself. She was truly wonderful.

Words were exchanged between the two of them, and she confessed to missing him. Of course, he had missed her infinitely too and he let her know as much. In equal measure, he told her about the parts of himself he coloured and painted into life and how he could come back to her now that those pieces were full of life.

Finally, he concluded by stating that he chose her. At long last he could express how he felt without having to worry about harming or hurting her the way he did with Rika. He offered her something he had never offered anyone else before. Jihyun Kim in place of V. The real version of him, should she want him.

Having finally spoken the words 'I love you', he watched as tears started to spill down her cheeks and a happiness so deep made itself known on her face. Yes, taking so long had been worth it to make her this happy.

'I hope you look this happy for the rest of our lives, my angel.'

With her, he could live a life full of love.


End file.
